The last few months have been rather intense, however I feel as if I've really found a way of working that could become successful. Before this brief I had been very self-conscious of my work, and forever feeling displeased with what I'd created, knowing that it didn't reach the standards it ought to be.
Though there was somewhat of a slow start to the FMP, it picked up dramatically after our trip to London and I feel I got into a real flow; sitting down and working has felt exciting again. Despite this, I am acutely aware that I've let myself down again with this brief. I've been so wrapped up in the excitement of finding a new style, that I have neglected areas which would boost my marks. A sketchbook for example. I haven't worked in one! There has been little to no sketching or planning with each paper-cutting as I've literally just put scalpel to paper, without drawing anything out and without detailing what i'm going to do. Initially with each piece I start with a silhouette and work inwards, working off the quality of the silhouette. In some ways I'm actually quite proud of this ability to create some of the pieces that I have, as I've been going along, but it's not going to tick all those boxes is it!?
And yet, I know that I've spent all my time on this brief. But there's that niggling feeling that, because I haven't got a sketchbook to prove it, it's going to look like I haven't! While paper-cutting time seems to pass quite quickly, because I'm enjoying myself, but I'll look up and several hours have gone by. It is my discovery of this new style which has dictated the work. I become much more interested in churning out work, which, though aesthetically pleasing, isn't necessarily doing me any favours in the development of an idea.
Plus, I spent more time on continually paper-cutting, than I did on the development of my little book; I got far to engrossed in the process, as opposed to the presentation of the work, and as a result I'm not happy with it, but it's my own fault! I'm painfully aware of this, and honestly, haven't high hopes for good marks from this brief. Despite this, I'm just so motivated to explore more of what I can produce in this way, that I'm not going to beat myself up about it too much. The degree is now, more or less over; but low marks and an unorthodox way of working doesn't mean I'm going to fail with regards to going out to find illustration work. It's all development, and I know now that if I want to produce better, then surely more development will secure that, as I'm only going to improve from here.
I am happy though that I succeeded in doing the headdress, as it's something which i've been wanting to do for a long time, and I'd like to attempt to develop this side of my work, expanded into 3d pieces.
I've got so many plans for the exhibition, as that's what's going to be important, as that's what people will see; there's not going to be a huge number painted over my degree show, highlighting the exact mark I got, so I need to make sure that the work I put up and the way I present it, distracts from any disappointing numbers!